Busted! At Boot Camp.
Last week I was at Shawne Duperone’s Media Boot Camp. It was my 4th time attending. I don’t know what it is about the workshop, but I have a love/hate relationship with it. Ok, so I do know what my love/hate part of it is all about, I just don’t want to acknowledge it.
I am a BIG fan of meditation. I especially resonate with the meditations that Oprah and Deepak Chopra collaborate on. On November 2, a new 30-day mediation series started, the topic is BELIEFS. One of the meditations this week taught me that by acknowledging my fears; which are a result of limiting beliefs, we can move through them and move on with our lives. This is very similar to the fears of monsters who lived under our beds when we were kids. When we sucked it up, turned on the lights and looked – Guess what? No Monsters!
Ok, so back to the boot camp. By the afternoon of day 2, I was actually angry. For those who know me well, it takes a mountain of crap to make me angry. After lunch Shawne always asks for feedback. Everyone it seemed, was kind of sappy about the love they were feeling, and blah, blah, blah. Now, in no way, do I want to diminish anyone else’s experience. This is an excellent workshop and people were feeling really good! I, on the other hand, wasn’t. Rather than pretend that all was well in my world, I stood and blurted out that I was feeling rather the opposite of everyone else. The reason I felt compelled to do this was because I wanted to move through these limiting beliefs that I was experiencing and move on. I had had enough. I intuitively understood that I had to face this, come what may, if I wanted to move forward, even at the risk of alienating every single person in that filled-to-capacity room. The truth is, I have been struggling for YEARS with how to talk about what I do, professionally, in a way that is not drop dead boring. There are a few topics, i.e. anything business related that brings out this intense, serious, almost mean mom look that makes anyone near want to run!!! It was my corporate training. This is serious, we do NOT express emotion. DO NOT ACT LIKE A GIRL!!! Seriously I was told that. I should have pointed out the obvious, but then, I was young and working in a very male dominated industry and I wanted to keep my job, especially as I was a single mother with two small children! The ironic thing is, if I am talking about anything else I care about, Miss Charismatic comes out and everyone wants to hear more….
Shawne was her usual insightful self and said this might have something to do with being out of personal integrity. Ya think? I couldn’t stand the thought of one more day not being able to just talk easily with anyone (media or not) about the work I cared so much about. I sat down and fought back tears on and off for the next few hours , until…. The magic happened.
Our last exercise was to do a story with a partner on the worst thing that could happen to me in my business. That was easy. The worst thing for me, would be to have a client experience any kind of financial hardship or ruin based upon any of my guidance. As a CFO, and money therapist, it is my job to help my clients both personally and professionally move forward with their finances, generate positive cashflow and ultimately, wealth and prosperity. We did variations of this interview back and forth with our partner. As luck would have it my partner was the head of a large credit union! Thanks Universe!
There is a process that we go through that forces us to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. I had to look up and stare into this guys eyes, who has tons of expertise in my field. During this process, I felt this HUGE shift inside. The concern I have for my clients well-being, went from my head to my heart and I realized that when I am talking on or off camera about the things my clients can do to create wealth and abundance is about them, NOT me. It’s all about supporting THEM! This changed everything! “Mean Mom” went away and was replaced by “Compassionate Carrie”. I finally understood that when I talking about this topic I can talk from my heart with high integrity and still be professional in an authentic way. That belief is now busted! This has held me back me for years! It is fascinating how being open to change and willing to move forward no matter what the price allows the Universe to work it’s magic ;)
Clear. Bold. Service.
I have found that I have a theme for the year. It keeps me energized, and because it is a theme vs a resolution, I will stick with it all year. Last year it was “Oh, the places we’ll go”, inspired by Dr. Seuss. I traveled to more places last year than I have ever gone, including three weeks in South America. While there I had the ability to meditate on what the theme for 2014 should be. The answer was “Clear. Bold. Service.” I translated this to, I am Clear, I am Bold, I am of Service.
Already in one month the change in my life has been fascinating. People and support for my projects are showing up In ways I would never have expected. By making a declaration to the Universe that I AM Clear I have set an intention. An intention has the ability to transform. The second thing to do is to give the Intention ATTENTION. Attention gives the idea energy and focus. The third thing to do is to create a Vision. A vision provides the details that allows me to be clear enough to bring the desire to life.